I'm in luck. Someone wrote an Erotic Fiction about Bill Belichick. It's for sale on Amazon right now and is titled "Bill Belichick Wants a Tight End and I Don't Mean Football."
It is dirty too. Here is an excerpt:
"The urine filled tip is San Francisco, because it has smelled like piss since forever and nobody seems to care. Bill Belichick walked the urine filled streets of this geographical phallus with a thirst for pussy."
This looks like my cup of tea. I'm glad someone decided to write this.
(h/t Terez Owens)